6 Video Game That Came Bundled With Filthy, Filthy Lies

From the badass covering art on old-school Atari games to basically all major review sites, video games have always relied on lies to get you to buy them. And the same way the graphics advance every year, so too does the level of subterfuge. We’re reasonably sure that the most ingenious “video game plot” these days is the one designed to swindle you. Here are six outrageous examples.

# 6. EA Promises They’ll Give You A Free Game If You Buy Battlefield 3 , Then Just … Doesn’t

One of the toughest moments in every gamer’s life is when they have to decide which of the near-identical versions of the near-identical sequels to the near-identical video game franchises they’ll buy. Well, in 2011, Electronic Arts constructed that decision a lot easier for fans of first-person shooters: They announced that everyone who bought the PlayStation 3 version of Battlefield 3 would get another game, Battlefield 1943 , totally for free on the same disc.

If our math is correct, this game is 1,940 periods better than Battlefield 3 , so that’s quite the deal .

It was a clutch maneuver. Sony got an exclusive deal to brag about, and EA got pre-orders out the wazoo. Everyone wins!

Except for gamers.

When Battlefield 3 was ultimately released, fans noticed that the promised extra game wasn’t included. No notice , no apology , not even a petroleum IOU note — it simply wasn’t there. The angry mass took to Twitter to ask what exactly the fucking was going on( because Twitter is the modern equivalent of torches and pitchforks ), until EA eventually addressed their concerns. Their answer: Instead of Battlefield 1943 , PS3 proprietors now had the exclusive right to buy all the downloadable content a week earlier than on other platforms!

A right they already had.

Five people are reportedly fine with this .

To recap: Electronic Arts advertised a full, free game as positive incentives for buying Battlefield 3 , and didn’t bother telling anybody that they had changed their minds until millions of transcripts had been sold. And to make up for that, they liberally invited players to expend even more fund buying extra content for the game, at full cost. In unrelated news, EA won the “Worst Company in America” awarding the next two years after this.

Unfortunately for EA, it turns out that PS3 proprietors are the kinds of ungrateful bastards who would look a gift pony( or rather, an opportunity-to-buy pony ?) in the mouth. It took the threat of a class-action lawsuit for the company to finally to fulfil its promise and construct Battlefield 1943 available for free download on the PlayStation Network. To this day, EA executives patiently await the flood of “thank you” letters that are surely incoming.

# 5. Gaming Ads Shamelessly Take Quotes Out Of Context

When Ubisoft was launching Ubisoft’s Tom Clancy’s The Division earlier this year, they had tough competitor in the form of Bungie’s already established Destiny . Fortunately, the critics were on their side πŸ˜› TAGEND

“A … game.” – KOTAKU

Too bad those quotes were bullshit. For starters, the full headline of the GameZone article was “ The Division blows Destiny out of the water with 6.4 million beta users.” They were talking about Ubisoft’s game having more beta players( probably because it was also on PC , not only consoles ), and not referring to quality. As for the IGN quote, they did declare this the “Best New Franchise” … to be shown at E3 2013, three years earlier. Back when the game looked much slicker than it objective up being, because that’s how Ubisoft rolls.

Speaking of IGN, check out what they had to say about Dead Island: Riptide , according to the game’s launch trailer πŸ˜› TAGEND

Again, IGN did technically tell those words, but the full quote was: “If you’re committed to Dead Island already, you’re in for a treat.” They also warned that, while fans of the original would probably like this sequel, “the plot is still paper thin, the cutscenes are still wooden, and the game doesn’t look great or operate all that well.” The review was essentially saying, ” Riptide is more of the same shit, but if you like how shit savors, go for it! “

But it’s more than ads. It’s been several paragraphs since we’ve devoted you a reason to loathe EA, so let’s look at the covering of NHL 09 next πŸ˜› TAGEND Spoilers: That year is not the one on the covering .

Wow, that had to be the greatest fucking hockey game ever, to win seven awardings before even being released . Of course, it didn’t. The previous game in the franchise did, and it seems even EA thinks they’re all pretty much the same.

But perhaps the most egregious instance comes from the official website for Edios’ Kane& Lynch , which boasted five-star reviews …

Kotaku was so excited that they forgot how to speak English . … which weren’t five-star reviews. Eidos stuck a five-star graphic on each quote, when in reality, GameSpy devoted it a 3/5, Game Informer devoted it 7/10, and Kotaku didn’t even devote it a score, because Kotaku doesn’t score games . The last day we let somebody invent five stars out of thin air, we objective up with One Direction. Did we learn nothing ?!

# 4. YouTubers Got Paid Up To $30,000 To Not Dislike The Xbox One

When Microsoft announced the Xbox One console in 2013, they ran into a tiny little problem: Everyone somehow hated it already. Reports that it required you to be online 24/7, blocked used games, and took photos of your junk and sent them to your own mother angered gamers everywhere. Microsoft dialed back the creepiness, but as launch day approached, there was still an air of negativity around the console.

But then the tide abruptly changed. Hundreds of YouTube users posted videos mentioning how hyped they were for the Xbox One and how dope all three of its launch games looked. One thing they didn’t mention( because they legally couldn’t) was that they were getting paid for saying this.

“5. Blatantly mislead your audience.”

It turns out Microsoft had hired game-centric YouTube network Machinima to promote its console. Machinima, in turn, paid five popular YouTube personalities up to $30,000 to say they were “looking forward” to the Xbox One and “[ showcase] Microsoft products in positive light” — which seems like a lot of money, until you find out that told products included the critically ambivalent Ryse: Son Of Rome . Phase two of this plan involved paying lesser YouTubers to produce similar videos, promising$ 1 for every 1,000 views( at a $25,000 cap ). As part of their contracts, the YouTubers were prohibited from discussing the agreement, including the part about getting paid. In other words, their videos constructed it look like everyone really loved the Xbox One and whatever it crapped out on launch day.

There’s a reason even those shady TitleMax commercials on Tv disclose that their testimonials are “actor portrayals” — in the United States, presenting a paid endorsement as though it were somebody’s real, uncompensated sentiment will incur the fury of the Federal Trade Commission. In this case, the FTC analyse the campaign and determined that Machinima had engaged in deceptive ad.

Yay! The system works!

And as penalty, they got an Xbox-exclusive app .

They reached a settlement that involved the avoidance of a fine and Machinima’s promise to totally never do this again, while never acknowledging to any wrongdoing. Yay! The system works … for the corporations!

Read more: www.cracked.com

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